LATEMA CHRONICLES
Am
sited next to two rained on men in this Latema bus. Everyone in the bus
seems to have received several drops of the rain just before getting
in, nowadays its raining without notice. The bus is stuffy and no one is
in the mood to speak to their neighbor. The bus is silent save for the
distant voices of Maina and King'ang'i from the poorly tuned classic
Fm. My neighbours seem to be familiar with each other as they are
sharing a newspaper. Ones they get an interesting story on the paper
they start a conversation of mixed swahili and luhya. On the front page
of their paper is a list of politicians who won or lost the just
concluded party primaries. That way i can tell it isn't a today's
paper.... Must be last weeks paper.
At the back of the bus there is a bespectacled young man who is on a phone call. He is loud that he attracts attention of everyone in the bus. He is talking fast and furious, occasionally adjusting his exaggerated spectacles (you know those that cover even the nose? )He is forcing some Naija accent and i can capture that he has a class at Chiromo Campus at 8. He has just been informed the class has bounced. My two neighbors are now a bit loud in there conversation that i can tell what they talking about. They are talking about the 221M jackpot winner. That's no news to me, the story had been on the papers for three days in a row. You know our media can be at times low. They told us much about the newest millionaire in town than the escalating levels of inflation in Kenya. See, they almost told us about his last coitus...but its none of my business anyway. They are very angry at a lady they claim rejected the lucky lad because he was poor. They accuse women of being opportunists and full of ego. “Hii Nairobi bila pesa hupati mrembo”. The guy next to the window closes the conversation as they rhythmically join in some laughter. At this point we are at Kangemi where the bus makes a stop to fill in the still empty seats. Am joined by a lady with some expensive hairdo and a garment similar to a skirt. I excuse her to take the seat next to the window. As she sits she adjusts her tiny skirt which is now way far from the knee towards the groin. She doesn’t seem to like my company.
We are just past CCK and its now raining heavily with some side showers getting their way through the stuck window corners. The rain drops are seriously terrorizing my lady neighbor. She forces a “hi” which i respond to so fast as if i was waiting for it. You know in this Nairobi beautiful ladies rarely greet you unless they need some favor or directions within town. So when she asks if i can do her some favour am not taken by surprise. She needs me to assist her with my scuff to cover her thighs that are now wet with the rain drops. I could have told her to shake her head to feel any presence of worms but i don't want to be rude such an early morning. So, i tell her the scuff was bought for me by my parent and she doesn't approve any sharing of items with ladies. She doesn't seem convinced and she requests that we shift seats.
Am really getting irritated by this lady. There is no way i will allow myself to be rained on for her. Am still in pain to date when i remember an incident i was rained on while going on a date around Kigogoini. I almost went down with pneumonia and she still left me. And now this lady wants me to be rained on for her? Well, i inform her that my parents don't want me taking seats next to the window.
“si unaona ata sikuwa nmeikalia?"
I inform her that Waiyaki way especially around Waruku and Kosovo people get their phones snatched. She stuffs her heavily pimped hotnote phone in her handbag and silence resumes between us until she excuses herself to alight at Safaricom centre. As she passes by my two other neighbors who now done with the newspaper, they look at her and later at me. They make a judgement.
“Si ungechukua hiyo number? ” the one i don't seem to like between the two says prompting an irritating laughter by the two.
Why should i take her number in the first place?i don't know a good fundi around to refer her to for a better skirt. Again, huwa sipendi aibu. See, every guy has on average recorded 5 instances of rejection. It is obvious almost every guy has some unreplied texts carried forward from last months greetings. Blue ticks are the order the day pale kwa inbox. You must be very lucky to receive and instant reply. I haven’t even finished deleting some unreplied chats on my phone. There is no way i was going to add another emotional terrorist on my phonebook. As i alight at the Main campus gate (i always prefer walking from here to work than wait for matatu to take me through CBD) the makanga tells me amid spits of semi chewed miraa “nyinyi vijana wa campus huangukia warembo sana”. Am already late and i doubt i have time to answer him. So i switch of my data. WIRA WA NGOMA!!!
At the back of the bus there is a bespectacled young man who is on a phone call. He is loud that he attracts attention of everyone in the bus. He is talking fast and furious, occasionally adjusting his exaggerated spectacles (you know those that cover even the nose? )He is forcing some Naija accent and i can capture that he has a class at Chiromo Campus at 8. He has just been informed the class has bounced. My two neighbors are now a bit loud in there conversation that i can tell what they talking about. They are talking about the 221M jackpot winner. That's no news to me, the story had been on the papers for three days in a row. You know our media can be at times low. They told us much about the newest millionaire in town than the escalating levels of inflation in Kenya. See, they almost told us about his last coitus...but its none of my business anyway. They are very angry at a lady they claim rejected the lucky lad because he was poor. They accuse women of being opportunists and full of ego. “Hii Nairobi bila pesa hupati mrembo”. The guy next to the window closes the conversation as they rhythmically join in some laughter. At this point we are at Kangemi where the bus makes a stop to fill in the still empty seats. Am joined by a lady with some expensive hairdo and a garment similar to a skirt. I excuse her to take the seat next to the window. As she sits she adjusts her tiny skirt which is now way far from the knee towards the groin. She doesn’t seem to like my company.
We are just past CCK and its now raining heavily with some side showers getting their way through the stuck window corners. The rain drops are seriously terrorizing my lady neighbor. She forces a “hi” which i respond to so fast as if i was waiting for it. You know in this Nairobi beautiful ladies rarely greet you unless they need some favor or directions within town. So when she asks if i can do her some favour am not taken by surprise. She needs me to assist her with my scuff to cover her thighs that are now wet with the rain drops. I could have told her to shake her head to feel any presence of worms but i don't want to be rude such an early morning. So, i tell her the scuff was bought for me by my parent and she doesn't approve any sharing of items with ladies. She doesn't seem convinced and she requests that we shift seats.
Am really getting irritated by this lady. There is no way i will allow myself to be rained on for her. Am still in pain to date when i remember an incident i was rained on while going on a date around Kigogoini. I almost went down with pneumonia and she still left me. And now this lady wants me to be rained on for her? Well, i inform her that my parents don't want me taking seats next to the window.
“si unaona ata sikuwa nmeikalia?"
I inform her that Waiyaki way especially around Waruku and Kosovo people get their phones snatched. She stuffs her heavily pimped hotnote phone in her handbag and silence resumes between us until she excuses herself to alight at Safaricom centre. As she passes by my two other neighbors who now done with the newspaper, they look at her and later at me. They make a judgement.
“Si ungechukua hiyo number? ” the one i don't seem to like between the two says prompting an irritating laughter by the two.
Why should i take her number in the first place?i don't know a good fundi around to refer her to for a better skirt. Again, huwa sipendi aibu. See, every guy has on average recorded 5 instances of rejection. It is obvious almost every guy has some unreplied texts carried forward from last months greetings. Blue ticks are the order the day pale kwa inbox. You must be very lucky to receive and instant reply. I haven’t even finished deleting some unreplied chats on my phone. There is no way i was going to add another emotional terrorist on my phonebook. As i alight at the Main campus gate (i always prefer walking from here to work than wait for matatu to take me through CBD) the makanga tells me amid spits of semi chewed miraa “nyinyi vijana wa campus huangukia warembo sana”. Am already late and i doubt i have time to answer him. So i switch of my data. WIRA WA NGOMA!!!
Comments
Post a Comment